Q. After 15 years in practice, it is very hard for me to
tell you that I expect shortly to be subject to BBO discipline. My
income sometimes does not keep pace with my lifestyle (I prefer an
Audi to a Civic), and, in a quest for a quick injection of money
into my bank account, I made what turned out to be a mistake - I
took on a couple of cases that were beyond my sphere of experience
but potentially lucrative. I consider myself a very capable,
talented lawyer, and overestimated the extent to which my general
knowledge and savvy would help me navigate unfamiliar
territory.
Although no one suffered major harm, as you can guess, my errors
in handling these cases led to complaints, and now, to likely
disruption of my career. One thing that concerns me is that I still
need money and, if I'm prevented from practicing my profession for
a time, I don't want to find myself making keys at Home Depot or
having to move from my upscale condo to a rented room somewhere.
Friends and family members are all saying that they're too
financially strapped to help me out. I know that there's nothing
wrong with me other than having made a foolish choice, but I'm
actually feeling depressed. Can you help me out?
A. You are, of course, in an inherently depressing situation. If
you are facing a period of suspension, you will not only experience
an extended interruption in your source of income, but a disruption
in your sense of professional identity. And you seem to be aware on
some level that, while suspended, you will be prohibited from doing
work that overlaps with your current career and professional
training, and will also not be able to work in any capacity for a
colleague in the field.
It sounds as if your image of yourself as socioeconomically
successful, and partaking of life's finer things, has been quite
important to you. You of course deserve all due credit for your
years of education and toil to build your practice. But these kinds
of image-related motives also comprised the "tragic flaw" (related
to the ancient Greek concept of hubris) that threatens to at least
temporarily derail your career.
The episode of suspension, if it comes to that, may thus also be
an opportunity to work on developing your sense of humility. It is
a good time to step back and take a new and realistic look at
yourself - your guiding values and drives, your strengths and
weaknesses, your genuine passions and sources of fulfillment, as
well as your blind spots, the value of your connections to others
and of asking for their help when your own instincts or skills are
not sufficient.
Working at a hardware store is honest, respectable work, as are
some of the other kinds of jobs suspended lawyers have found -
driving a cab, plowing snow, working the desk at a hotel,
substitute teaching in elementary schools. This would be a good
time to learn more about budgeting, and to come to grips with
longstanding childhood/family issues that may have contributed to
your current crisis (we'd be glad to refer you to a good therapist
who takes your health insurance). We also want to be sure you know
that we continue to offer an ongoing, twice-monthly support group
specifically for lawyers facing BBO investigation/disciplinary
measures.
While there's no denying that you may face a very stressful
chapter in your life, and quite likely some major downgrades to
your lifestyle, ultimately, you may not only get past your
depressed mood, but renew and reconfigure your life and
expectations in a healthier, more gratified and more sustainable
way. n
Questions quoted are either actual letters/e-mails or
paraphrased and disguised concerns expressed by individuals seeking
assistance from Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers.
Questions for LCL may be mailed to LCL, 31 Milk St., Suite 810,
Boston, MA 02109; or called in to (617) 482-9600.
LCL's licensed clinicians will respond in confidence. Visit LCL
online at www.lclma.org.